


be the one i'm looking for

by ViolaWay



Category: One Direction (Band), Video Blogging & YouTube RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff and Humor, M/M, University
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-14
Updated: 2013-06-14
Packaged: 2017-12-14 23:09:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/842447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ViolaWay/pseuds/ViolaWay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are lots of confusing, twisted feelings when Phil moves in next to roommates Dan and Louis.</p>
            </blockquote>





	be the one i'm looking for

**Author's Note:**

> i just needed to let out my obsession with dan/louis I'M SORRY

“ _I TRIED TO GIVE YOU UP,_

_BUT I’M ADDICTED!”_

Phil pulled his pillow over his head and tried to ignore the pounding drums and screeching guitar of his next-door neighbor’s music collection. He loved Muse as much as the next sane person, but midnight was around the time when he’d reached his rock music limit.

He had been attempting to get to sleep, unsuccessfully, for hours now. It was his first lecture tomorrow, and he’d wanted to wake up refreshed and ready to learn (or refreshed, at least). His roommate, Chris, had drifted off hours ago, and the sound of his snores almost matched the volume of the music. Phil now had a full-blown headache, and he was considering skiving his first lecture to get more sleep and medicine tomorrow.

His first week living in university dorms wasn’t going so well.

It was hard to resist the temptation to simply get up and bang on the offender’s adjoining wall, but Phil didn’t want to be that killjoy who didn’t let anyone have fun – even if the fun was at his own expense. So far this week, he’d sat through rock music at unimaginable volumes; grotesque sex noises that Phil was trying desperately to permanently rid from his mind; many, _many_ arguments and Lady Gaga at 2 am. Phil got the feeling that two people might live there.

He hadn’t met either of them yet; he’d been busy settling in and trying to avoid human contact unless it was absolutely necessary.

The music finally stopped at—and Phil actually checked the time—1:52 am. He suppressed the childish urge to flip the wall the finger and rolled over once again, gritting his teeth against the hammering in his head that just wouldn’t let up.

***

Louis and Dan were not _together._ Like, Louis didn’t do commitment, so. They were just good friends…who fucked a lot, and played stupid as fuck mind games and cuddled on the sofa, sometimes. But, it was just; they knew each other so well, so there were no boundaries left. Teasing each other mercilessly was just normal, and trying to get each other jealous was standard behavior. They’d known each other since the beginning of year seven, and they’d chosen the same university on purpose, because as much as they hated each other, they loved each other, too.

It was complicated.

Some people called their co-dependence alarming, but they were happy. Most of the time. Sometimes, Dan would feel those pesky _feelings_ creeping up on him again and it was like, he knew that Louis didn’t reciprocate. Not in that way, at least. Or, even if he did, he wouldn’t suddenly proclaim his love from the rooftops or want to be with Dan and only Dan for the rest of his life, forever and ever. Louis had trouble saying that they were going to be _friends_ forever.

They argued a lot about it, because Louis had never had a boyfriend that lasted for more than a week, and he’d always come crawling back to Dan, requesting a snog or—later—a fuck. Louis didn’t even do one-night stands or sleeping around, and it confused the hell out of Dan.

He was kind of screwed.

***

So English was boring. Phil had known that before he’d picked the subject, and it didn’t come as a surprise now. But, listening to a middle-aged, balding man in a suit talk about Shakespeare and obscure poets that no one had heard of was the most dreary thing Phil had ever experienced. His eyes glazed over as he stared at the boy in front of him, who was chewing on his pen and checking his watch every few seconds. He wasn’t even trying to look like he was listening; white headphones trailed out of his ears and he was doodling lyrics to pop songs in his notebook.

There were some unfamiliar words, too, and Phil wondered if maybe this boy was writing songs. Or poems. They _were_ in an English lecture, after all.

 _My hands,_  
your hands  
tied up  
like two ships.  
Drifting  
weightless –   
waves try to break it.  
I’d do anything to save it.   
Why is it so hard to say it?

It wasn’t Shakespeare, Phil conceded, but he still thought it was pretty impressive. He’d never written a song, although he had a tendency to sing everything he did (‘ _fillin’ out my university application, gonna have qualifications and a good job, at the end of the day…’_ ), and the thought of someone else doing something so artistic made him smile. He liked appreciating others’ creativity: it was why he had picked English.

He tried to think of a tune for the melancholy lyrics, but he failed miserably. He wasn’t someone who appreciated music past the point of it sounding nice, and he had no idea how to come up with his own music.

The end of the lesson arrived after what seemed like hours, and the songwriter jumped up, scampering out of the door before Phil had a chance to stop him.

***

Louis might have been a bit in love with Dan. All his songs were about Dan. He had sex with Dan. But he was too much of a coward to try to find out if Dan loved him, too. So he didn’t, and that was okay. They still cuddled on the sofa and ate junk food and were best friends and that was what Louis needed more than anything else, because he was emotionally unstable and terrified of commitment.

And it was _completely_ okay, until he met Zayn. Zayn was also doing a degree in English, and he lived across the hall from Louis and Dan with his roommate, Niall.

But then…

“You can go out with him, you know,” Dan said nonchalantly, taking a bite of his pizza.

“Who?” Louis replied, mouth full. God, he was _so_ attractive.

“The wanker across the hall. Zayn.”

“Why’d you call him a wanker? Jealous?” Louis teased.

“Not at all. I need you to stop calling me begging for a blowjob in the middle of my lectures. It’s a bit…not good,” Dan said.

“I don’t fancy him,” Louis mumbled.

“Do too!”

“I can have _friends_ , Dan, without wanting to sleep with them,” Louis protested. “I like him, yeah, but not like _that._ Puts too much effort into his appearance. Me, I’m more of an ‘avoid-hair-products-like-they’re-going-to-cause-the-end-of-the-world’ kind of guy.”

“Lou, this is _you_ we’re talking about here. You’re incapable of separating friendship from fucking.” 

“That’s not true!”

“Exhibit A,” Dan said, pointing to himself. 

“I don’t wanna go out with Zayn. I wanna stay here in here and watch porn with you,” Louis said.

“Lovely.”

“You love me really.”

“I keep wondering where you’re getting that from.”

“Can we drop it now?” Louis requested.

“Lou, stop being such a coward. You need to face up to your feelings sometimes,” Dan said.

Louis said nothing and turned his attention back to the TV.

“Yeah, thought so,” Dan muttered, and silence fell.

***

Phil became increasingly obsessed with the boy in his English lectures. He always sat in the same place: near the back, with Phil situated directly behind him. And Phil always wanted to talk to him, but couldn’t build up the courage. He almost felt bad, because the lyrics seemed so personal, but they were entrancing all the same.

 _And I’ll be gone –_  
gone tonight. The fire  
beneath my feet is burning bright.  
The way  
that I’ve been holding on so tight  
with nothing in between.

It was a month or so before…

“Hey, can I borrow a pencil?”

So it was a bit on an anticlimax, but Phil passed the boy a pencil, smiling. 

“Thanks. What’s your name?” 

“I’m Phil. You?” 

“Louis.”

It wasn’t like they were immediately best friends, but they whispered to each other instead of listening to the teacher and that was enough for Phil. He didn’t have many friends.

“So, where d’you live?” Louis asked.

“Um, first floor, number thirty-four?” Phil said.

“Oh! I’m right next door! We should meet up sometime!” Louis said.

“Are you Lady Gaga or Muse?” Phil inquired warily.

“What? Oh, the music. I’m Lady Gaga.”

“And who’s your boyfriend?” 

“Boyfriend?”

“Muse?”

“Oh, that’s Dan. He’s not my boyfriend,” Louis assured him quickly.

“Really? ‘Cos you…” Phil trailed off awkwardly.

“Yeah, we do,” Louis responded, and left it at that.

***

The first time Phil was meeting up with Dan and Louis, he took Chris along for moral support. He wasn’t the best with new people, and he had the terrible feeling that the evening was going to be incredibly awkward.

As it turned out, it wasn’t too bad. After a few bottles of beer and an argument about rock vs. pop, Phil felt much more relaxed. They were surfing the music channels and protesting greatly whenever Louis got hold of the remote. There was only so much Nickelback they could listen to without screaming, after all.

After his third beer, Louis started getting a bit touchy with everyone, especially Dan. He hadn’t been particularly adept at keeping his hands to himself to begin with, but now it was ten times worse. Phil didn’t mind all too much, but he got the sense that Dan might be jealous, what with the way he was looking at Louis and all. So with that in mind, Phil followed Dan into the kitchen and apologized quickly for any hard feelings.

“It’s fine, really,” Dan replied. “It’s not like we’re dating or anything.”

“No, you’re not, but I can’t help but…are you sure that’s all?” Phil asked timidly.

Dan sighed.

“It’s not, is it? I keep thinking…if I could just find someone else, y’know, or if he could, then we’d be able to move past this. But then he’s crawling back and I can’t resist. I can never resist.” 

“I’m sorry,” Phil replied, heartfelt.

“I need to – I need some distance, but he won’t give me any. Fuck. It’s all just…”

“Do you want… No, forget it.” Phil stopped himself before he said anything stupid.

“What?”

“Just, what if you pretended to go out with someone? And then you’d see how he really feels about you…” Phil muttered, blushing.

“I can’t ask someone to…”

“I’d do it, if you wanted,” Phil said, digging his hole deeper and deeper.

“Would you?”

“Um, sure.”

“Like, are you even gay?”

“Bi.”

“Oh, cool. Me too.”

They both laughed, and it was like Phil had found another friend. Just, one he was going to pretend to date. It wasn’t weird.

***

When Dan told Louis, he was furious. He stalked over to Zayn’s flat immediately and asked him out, only to find that he had a girlfriend. Worse still, Louis actually had a drama class with this girl.

“Shit, sorry,” he apologised.

“It’s fine,” Zayn laughed. “I’m flattered, actually.”

“Well, thank god for that. Friends, then?”

“Sure.”

This meant that Louis officially had no backup boyfriend, which resulted in him knocking on the doors of everyone on the first floor, seeing if they looked like they were gay.

Most of the people who answered the doors were girls, which was annoying. Louis rolled his eyes as some of them tried to flirt with him, and finally he got to the end of the corridor.

“Hello?”

“Okay, you’re fit. Name?” Louis said. The man looked startled. Louis didn’t blame him, but he was on a mission.

“Liam.”

“Are you gay, Liam?”

“No!”

“Are you homophobic, Liam?”

“No.”

“Will you pretend to go out with me, Liam?”

“No.”

“You’re very helpful, you,” Louis said sarcastically. “Roommate?”

“I actually have a friend on the second floor who _is_ gay,” Liam said. “Go search for Harry Styles.”

And that was the very romantic story of how Louis and Harry met.

***

_3 weeks later_

So, as it turned out, Harry had a boyfriend, but they were long distance and Nick was way older and Louis _really didn’t care._ Harry was kind of gullible and just plain nice, so he went along with Louis’ plan easily enough.

Except that Harry had said many times now that they weren’t going to have sex, which wasn’t very nice at all.

It was at this point that there was a collective decision on the part of Louis and Dan to go on a double date. Alarm bells should have stated ringing when they remembered that this decision had come about as the result of a three hour argument in which Dan had accused Louis of only going out with Harry to get to him, and then they had basically yelled at each other until Louis had said:

“Why don’t we just all go out together and we’ll see?”

“Fine!” Dan had snarled, and that was it. The seats were booked at a fairly nice restaurant near the campus (by fairly nice, they meant that it could be afforded on a uni student’s budget).

No one was looking forward to it at all, because the awkwardness was sure to be palpable.

***

But no one was looking forward to it less than Phil, who had realised at some point over the past few weeks that he was a truly terrible actor. It wasn’t that he didn’t like Dan; in fact, he kind of had a small thing for Dan, as the boy was attractive and funny enough to make up for his obsession with late night music. But, like, they’d probably have to _kiss._ And Phil wasn’t very good at kissing in public, even when he was in a relationship. It felt awkward and like it was looking for attention and Phil had never liked unnecessary attention.

He got ready on Friday, in an old checkered shirt and black skinny jeans and hoped that it would be fancy enough, because he sure as hell wasn’t wearing a suit.

They met at the restaurant, and Phil and Dan were meeting Harry for the first time, and Dan was barely concealing his jealousy that was clearly directed at Harry.

“Hi, I’m Harry.”

“Dan.”

“Nice to meet you, Dan. What’re you getting a degree in?” Harry asked politely. Phil was glad that Harry was nice; this could have been a lot harder for Dan.

“Law,” Dan replied shortly. Phil winced a little at the imbalance in the conversation.

“Shall we go in?” he interrupted quickly, before Dan hit someone.

***

Dan was not a jealous person. He was not a violent person, either. But he felt like if Harry smiled that stupid little smirk one more time, he was going to punch it off him. About halfway through the meal, as if sensing that something was about to go terribly wrong, Phil had placed his hand over Dan’s, and the light pressure was extremely calming, even if it meant he could only eat one handed.

He gave Phil a tight-lipped smile of gratitude and stayed silent, letting the conversation drift between Harry and Phil. Louis was in much the same state as Dan—glowering pointedly at his plate, so it was up to the others to try to erase the tense atmosphere.

Things took a turn for the worse, on Dan and Phil’s part, at least, when Louis stood up to go to the bathroom, pressing a quick kiss to Harry’s cheek before he left. It wasn’t anything particularly momentous, but Dan felt the anger rising again at the sight. And fuck, did Harry literally _glow_ under the additional show of affection, or was that just Dan? Surely his smile stretched wider than anyone had previously thought possible.

It was disgusting.

The night drifted to a close (thankfully) as they made their way back to the apartment complex, with Louis following Harry up to the second floor and Phil nervously following Dan into his apartment.

“I’m sorry,” Phil said as soon as the door was shut behind them. “That was terrible. I hope you never…”

“It was nice to have you there, Phil,” Dan interrupted, trying to smile (although he was sure that the sadness was visible in his eyes).

“I’d better go, then,” Phil replied after a pause.

“Um, can you stay…please? I don’t want to be alone.”

***

Harry tried very hard to hide his hope as Louis followed him upstairs, because he _did not_ have a crush on his fake boyfriend, and he _did_ love his actual boyfriend. It couldn’t possibly be as messed up as it sounded.

Louis was actually a lot happier now that he was out of Dan’s presence, though, cheerily asking if he could stay with Harry tonight and smiling widely when Harry agreed. Harry tried to ignore the butterflies that flooded his stomach when Louis winked at him.

It was only three hours later, when Louis turned up at his bedroom door complaining about the sofa and almost begging to be let into Harry’s small, single bed, that Harry realized how far gone he was. And what a bad idea this had been. He’d missed having someone next to him while he slept for the past few months (his roommate, while nice, was barely ever there, preferring to stay with his girlfriend), and with Louis pressed into his side he felt whole again somehow.

He reached across the sleeping form of his not-boyfriend to grab his phone from the bedside table.

_Hey Grimmy x_

The reply came an agonizing ten minutes later, in which Harry became sure he had bitten his lower lip off.

**Why the fuck are you texting me at 1 in the morning? Did you finally cheat on me? ;)**

Here was the thing: Nick worked in London and that was fine. Harry was completely faithful and loving and he phoned his boyfriend as much as possible considering his busy schedule with a job at a local bakery and uni classes and sleep. But Nick – Nick was twenty-seven and he went to a lot of parties with a lot of alcohol and he woke up the next morning not remembering what (or who) he’d done the night before. Harry was used to it, and he didn’t mind all that much because Nick said he loved him and that was that.

But—and Harry sure as hell hadn’t told anyone this—Nick was obsessed with getting Harry out there at university (“you need all those wild parties and shit experiences, innit?”), and yes, it was in Harry’s best interests, or what Nick thought his best interests were, at least, but Harry just felt like Nick was trying to get rid of him, passing him off onto someone else. And fair enough: Harry was nine years younger than Nick and maybe Nick regretted taking a part of Harry’s teenage years away.

 _I’m sort of being someone’s fake boyfriend?_ he replied, butterflies crawling in his stomach as he anxiously awaited Nick’s answer.

**Fuck him.**

Harry rolled his eyes but felt the tears gathering there, considering the fact that he and Grimmy were actually a terrible couple. It didn’t stop him from wanting things to stay the way they were, though.

 _Do you want me to?_ he asked.

**Sure.**

_Do you even want to fucking be my boyfriend anymore?_

**Not really.**

Well, Nick had always been blunt. At least, Harry thought, he wasn’t bullshitting him. Still. Harry cursed out loud and chucked the phone across the room, wincing at the crack he heard when the fragile plastic hit the wall.

He felt Louis shift next to him and lay down again, muffling his sobs in Louis’ hair. That should have won awards for being the worst, most insensitive break-up to ever happen. Ever.

“Haz?” Louis’ voice was clogged with sleep, but Harry could hear the concern. It was weird, he hadn’t known that Louis had been capable of caring about other people. He was just a little…self-centered, was all. Or he came across that way, most of the time.

“’M fine,” Harry mumbled.

“Nah, I know what it’s like to cry in the middle of the night. Rejected?”

“Dumped.”

“Same thing, innit.”

“You’re a bit like him,” Harry admitted.

“Who? The wanker who dumped you? Nah, they’re crazy. ‘M not so crazy,” Louis replied.

“You have a fake boyfriend. ‘S pretty crazy.”

“Be my real boyfriend, then?”

“What?” Harry asked, shocked.

“Yeah. I’ve got nothing to lose, actually. I thought not getting myself into all that relationship shit would stop me from getting hurt, but it didn’t, so. You’re cute.”

“I’m your rebound?”

“Nah, I’m yours, right?”

“I, um, d’you mean it?”

“Course I do, Curly. I actually do like you,” Louis said, and Harry could hear the smile behind the words.

Harry kissed Louis’ hair before closing his eyes again, feeling more peaceful than he had done in months.

***

Dan and Phil also ended up in the same bed, legs wrapped around each other and Phil’s head tucked into Dan’s neck. Neither of them were quite sure how it had happened, but it was nice. Maybe not the most platonic thing, but nice.

When the lock clicked at ten in the morning and Dan was still asleep, Phil decided it might be a good idea to, like, leave. As soon as possible.

He’d slept in his clothes, which was convenient, and he was just creeping out of Dan’s bedroom when he spotted Louis, a grin firmly in place. Phil froze and gulped. Louis has been downright snarky and a little mean to him all through last night and he wasn’t looking forward to a repeat.

“Hello, Philip,” Louis said brightly.

“Uh…hi?” Phil replied, deciding that Louis was a much nicer person after getting laid, and also deciding that he might be bipolar.

“How are you?” Louis asked. “Want some tea? Cereal? How long are you staying?”

“I was…just leaving.”

“Oh, stay for a bit longer, will you? I hope you like coffee. Dan bought all this coffee ‘cos we’re adults now and adults drink coffee but neither of us like the shitty stuff you get from Tesco. I don’t even like coffee, so I’ve got all my Yorkshire tea here and I keep telling Dan to use up the Nescafe but he only drinks it if there’re like three spoons of sugar in it. And I’m not talking teaspoons. Tablespoons. Heaped. He just goes to Starbucks all the time and uses up all my wages since he doesn’t even have a job and his parents are only paying for rent, so.”

“I’ll have coffee,” Phil said quickly, mind spinning.

“Dan’s not a morning person,” Louis said, “so he won’t be awake for another hour yet. ‘M not, either, but Harry kicked me out at—“ he paused to check his watch. “—eight in the morning! Wow, cruel. I think he had a class, but.”

Three hours and several re-runs of Friends later, Dan did finally come out of the bedroom, wearing only his boxers and requesting that Louis bring him food immediately.

“Ew, put some clothes on,” Louis complained. “No one wants to see that!”

“You have seen that, like a billion times,” Dan responded dryly.

“Not with your boyfriend here,” Louis stage-whispered, giggling. Phil had to laugh, too.

“Oh, fuck off. I want a blueberry muffin. Have we got those? And why are you in such a good mood, anyway?”

“ _Tonight I’m getting over you_ ,” Louis sing-songed.

“You did not just sing Carly Rae Jepsen in an attempt to show me that you’re not desperately pining over me,” Dan laughed. “Oh my god.”

Phil realised that Dan and Louis’ happiness practically entirely depended on one another, which was kind of creepy.

“Did you two want me to leave, then?” he asked. He got the feeling that Dan and Louis really had some talking to do.

“If you want. But will you go out with me later? I’ve got a class at three but after that we could go get Starbucks?” Dan hesitated, and Phil stifled the confusion in time to say:

“Uh, sure. I’d love to.”

***

Dan wasn’t sure why he’d asked Phil out, but he only knew that he’d meant it. Seeing Louis happy, it made him happy. It made him think that maybe this was the best thing. Because his relationship had been struggling with Louis ever since – well, ever since they’d decided that they’d be no strings attached. Because there were strings, would always be strings. But with them came the arguments, the bitterness, the anger.

Neither of them deserved that.

It wasn’t such a cliché ending: “they were better as friends” because they weren’t, not exactly. They’d always argue and piss each other off because that was how they _were_. But, in the end, Dan loved Louis but he hated they way Louis could be, refusing to cuddle after sex if he wanted, because he had to be in control, or the way he’d be sarcastic constantly if he was talking about feelings, and maybe Dan would end up with Phil, or someone else, but he loved how genuine Phil was, how he didn’t lie and how he didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Louis could be malicious and petty and so could Dan, and maybe they both needed someone who wasn’t.

So Dan’s first date with Phil was in a Shakeaway because Phil confessed to having had three cups of coffee already that morning (because Louis kept pressuring him to), and they had milkshakes and Dan nicked some of Phil’s apple pie milkshake and agreed that it was actually quite nice, and Phil resolutely held onto the belief that Turkish delight milkshake was the most disgusting thing to ever be invented.

They kissed the taste of milkshake from each other’s mouths and Dan promised that he’d never try to make Louis jealous again.

***

Meanwhile, Harry and Louis crept into Dan’s room and stole the tickets he’d bought for a concert.

“I love The Script!” Harry giggled. “Are you sure Dan won’t mind?”

“Of course he’ll mind, but you’re worth it. And besides, I practically bought them anyway.”

“How so?”

“Well, I buy all his food.”

“Fair enough,” Harry laughed, and when they kissed it wasn’t fake at all, the way it had never been.

***

It had never been fake for any of them.

**Author's Note:**

> please remember to kudos/comment/bookmark if it's worthy!  
> tumblr: oopshidaisy  
> (the emotional pain it caused me to have louis writing strong about dan tells you how larry af i am)


End file.
